Trusting the Process

This moment is exactly as is should be. Words spoken to me this week by my friend and coach, who also happens to be a very well rounded and smart woman who I admire and respect.  So I’ve taken these words to heart and tried to make them my mantra with respect to my hip injury, which was the topic of our conversation, and life in general. Easier said than done.

I have no idea what is wrong with my hip.  I have had hip problems since we were blessed with child #3 with the large and non-molding head.  My hips will often get tight and sore along the iliac crest.  I’ve been to multiple physical therapists and do a litany of hip strengthening exercises on a regular basis, yet the problem persists.  On this most recent flare up, which involves my right hip, it seems to have gone up into my side as well.  I feel like maybe I have strained an oblique?  I have an appointment with a doctor next week.  I have not been able to run for about a week and a half now (read: the situation is getting dire!), so I’ve made appointments with various specialists in an attempt to get to the root of this problem.  I made an appointment with an orthopedic doctor, a pelvic floor therapist (doesn’t that sound fun?! I thought so.), and an osteopath. To my surprise, I was able to get in to see the doctor first, the therapist second, and the osteopath a distant third.  Go figure.

Anyway, the forced break from running has made me slightly grumpy.  If you ask my husband he might say it’s more than slightly, but whatever.  The last marathon I ran was the Marine Corps Marathon in 2006.  Against my better judgment, I attempted it on an IT band injury ended up hobbling across the finish line in around six hours.  It was ugly.  I was on crutches for a week afterwards.  Nine years and three kids later, I finally feel ready to attempt another marathon.  I registered for St. George this year and no sooner does the payment clear than my hip thing rears its ugly head to the point that I cannot run without pain.  This moment is exactly as it should be.

Yes, it’s true.  I am doing things I would not otherwise be doing if I did not have the forced break from running.  I am doing more cross training, different types of cross training, I tried a new swim workout, and I am learning new strengthening exercises.  All while listening to some new podcasts and learning some new things.  But I also miss running and my running group.  I fully intend to come back to both with a renewed mind, body and spirit and ready to train.  And meanwhile I repeat (often while gritting teeth). This moment is exactly as it should be.

I am trying to make this my mantra in daily life too.  In the moments that are not so pleasant.  Like when I finally sit down to eat after having driven three hours and having fed all of the little people and then the littlest one crawls up on my lap having pooped in this pants. This moment is exactly as it should be?

Or when all three kids are yelling and screaming at each other in the back seat and I am trying to drive.  This moment is exactly as it should be?

Or when it’s 10:00pm and the kids are still running around like mice on crack and all I want is to watch a TV show or curl up with a book.  This moment is exactly as it should be?

Ok, so this is going to take some time and practice.  I have never been accused of being the most patient person in the world.  Perhaps the universe is trying to teach me patience.  And to trust and enjoy the process.  For it is not the end result that makes the journey worthwhile, but the journey itself.  Yes indeed, perhaps this moment, these moments, are exactly as they should be. 

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